A few less-than-upstanding citizens made my job of bringing you the wacky news this week almost too easy. Let’s dive right in.
- As if “Botox Mom” from a few weeks ago was not bad enough, it seems she has some stiff competition coming from across the pond. Sarah Burge, 51, is well-known in the U.K. as the “Human Barbie” for undergoing more than $1 million in procedures in her quest to look like the iconic plastic doll. She must be running out of ways to improve herself, so she’s moved on to her children. Burge said her daughter, Poppy, squealed with delight when she received the gift and can’t wait to get surgery to look more like mommy when she reaches the legal age of 16. She said that if her daughter develops naturally large breasts, the gift certificate can be used for another procedure.I suppose the gift was only slightly less disturbing than what she gave Poppy for her sixth birthday. Last year, the youngster received pole dancing lessons. Burge says it’s a fun way for kids to stay fit and be active. What ever happened to soccer? It’s a great work-out, and the kids don’t have to change their names to Destiny or Diamond.
- In Wichita, Kan., who was working on the side of the road. Instead of stopping to y’know, administer medical help because he’s not only human but also a DOCTOR, the busy physician kept driving with the man lodged in his windshield for another three miles before finally stopping when he arrived in his own driveway. All the while, stunned motorists were frantically calling 911. The injured man was later pronounced dead.
- In Mexico, authorities say that to avoid capture. I find this story a bit of a stretch to say the least. Even if the man was wanted for murder and was going to be put to death, I have a hard time believing that anyone would actually go through the expense, pain, and life-changing event of a sex change operation. But for a fraud charge? A wig and a dress would have done the job just as well.
- The pharmaceutical company Allergan, makers of Botox and breast implants among other things, recently discovered that men and pigs really are more alike than we even thought. Well, sort of. While researching the advantages of adding antibiotics to breast implants, . The augmented pigs were apparantly so sexually attractive to the males that not only did they get a lot of “attention,” but two of the gals were quickly pregnant. The original research regarding antibiotics and a decrease in scar tissue formation remains ongoing.
Join me again next week as I continue to track the decline of civilized society as told through the strange and varied tales of plastic surgery.