Products That Make You Go “Hmmmmm”
Perhaps you’re one of those women who remembers a childhood with ponytails made so tight by your mother that you could hardly blink. The “ponytail headache” was a way of life for millions of American girls.

Well now, a new product is on the market that uses the same concept to rejuvenate your face. Dubbed the Facelift Bungee by creator Kim Aschauer, it consists of a small bungee cord that wraps around the back of the head and attaches to the hair near your temples to pull your skin up and back. Ouch.

At $25, it is significantly cheaper than a facelift or Botox. Unfortunately, the results are minimal at best. In fact, the biggest change to your appearance may be eventual bald spots near your ears.

Young Canadians Turning Away from Lumberjack Look?
Forgive me for stereotyping, but when most people think of Canadians, they tend to picture flannel shirts, fanny packs and hiking boots.

But an article in the Vancouver Sun suggests that more and more teens and 20-something Canadians are using Botox on a regular basis to stave off the signs of aging. The article profiles several young women under the age of 25 who see Botox as an important part of their beauty rituals.

The debate about how young is too young for Botox rages on in Vancouver (the California of Canada) and in the United States. While it’s true that Botox will prevent deeper wrinkles from forming when injected into young people, sunscreen would probably do just as well.

Mother and Daughters Addicted to Tanning

People will go to great lengths for media attention these days. And here I am – giving it to this ridiculous family.
Anyway, a mother and her two teenage daughters are so addicted to tanning that they have installed a $4,000 tanning bed in their home and routinely use baby oil, Crisco and iodine to get even darker.

I suspect I’ll be doing a facelift on one of the girls when she needs one – at age 31.

Texting and Walking Results in Increased Injuries – and Embarrassment
Here’s another “well, duh!” news story from this week.

Apparently, if you are so busy with your Crackberry or iPhone while you’re walking, you’re more likely to suffer an injury.

People have walked off the end of piers, stumbled into public fountains, and of course, walked into oncoming traffic. Injuries range from bumps and bruises to paralysis and death.

The best part of this story was that the city of Philadelphia installed a taped off “e-lane” on a sidewalk as part of an April’s Fools joke that advertised the lane as a designated place for pedestrians to walk and text. People got mad when the city removed it after April 1. City official Rina Cutler said citizens thought is was really helpful to not have people getting in their way when they were walking and texting.

Can’t get enough weird plastic surgery news? Check out the archives.

Join me again next week as I continue to track the decline of civilized society as told through the strange and varied tales of plastic surgery.


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