Happy Moobember

Forget about the hipsters and their weird, often incomplete moustachery.  We got it, men get cancer and you’re very manly.  A much less boring November trend is brewing elsewhere:  Moobember.  And it simply means men are getting their extra, unwanted breast tissue surgically removed in large numbers this month.  Good for them!

November it seems, is the perfect time for male breast reduction.  Everyone is keeping their shirts on in the chilly air, so nobody will see your healing process.  And let’s make sure that chest is ready for the very social season upcoming. Face it, the holidays bring travel, hotel hot tubs, and the possibility of meeting a new special someone.

According to the phenomenon of ‘gynecomastia’, or enlarged male breasts (aka: moobs) is on the rise, based on numerous sociological and environmental factors present in modern life.  Some examples include weight gain, drugs, medications, and steroids.  The array of procedures available to correct this embarrassing condition is growing too.  Your plastic surgeon can advise you as to which would be the most effective in your case.


Maybe you don’t have extra tissue on your man breasts – – -and that is a problem for you.  Not breast tissue, in this case, but muscle.  Men who have hollow, flat, or under developed chests are also looking for a plastic surgery solution.

Check out these images, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Sure, some men could solve their problem just by dropping and giving you 20.  (Irony:  they’ll be giving their surgeons WAY more than 20.)  But others have legitimate biological impediments to the size and shape of their pec muscles and would simply feel better if their chest was symmetrical and masculine in appearance.

For these men, I havea couple of tips.  (1.) don’t get a round implant.  There’s nothing masculine or muscle-like, about a round breast.  (2.) Ok, so your chest is hunky now, but you still have twig-like arms.  Do some curls for the girls.  Balancing your musculature in the upper body will give you an overall more masculine appearance and compliment your surgery.  Keeping the waif/pansy arms, looks unnatural, and only confuses the potential admirer.  If you’re not the weight lifting kind of guy – maybe just be the mysterious skinny type.  Own it.


photo credit: rex features, Mirror UK

Buxom Genius?

We all know that some transgendered folks opt for feminine implants to compliment their lifestyle.  But what about this guy?

Brian Zembic got female, round, luscious, implants 17 years ago on a dare.  He received over $99,000 as part of a wager to get the implants in 1996.  The deal also provides that he continue to receive $9,988 for every year he leaves them in place.  He’s not an alternative lifestyle type, either.  He’s married with a child.  But he likes the extra cash, enjoys his full figured, perky rack, and worries that removing them now would lead to sagging.   (Moobember might be a nice fit for him)  At the end of the day, it’s his body, his budget, and his commitment to an old bet.  Now THAT, is hashtag: wacky.

Join me again next week as I continue to track the decline of civilized society as told through the strange and varied tales of plastic surgery.

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