I give the plastic surgeon dad who brought a silicone breast implant to an elementary school a 10 for originality … and a 0 for judgment. According to the local NBC affiliate in Henrico, Virginia, parents were all kinds of P.O.’ed after kids as young as nine years old were allowed to touch the implant as part of the annual “Career Day” festivities.

Unfortunately, the news reports aren’t very thorough so we don’t know if the dad was giving a presentation on how medical devices can help to reconstruct bodies after disease, car crashes and war, or if he was enlightening the tikes on the best way to get free rent at the Playboy mansion. As a plastic surgeon myself, I find the former lesson useful but probably best geared toward high school students. And the latter, if indeed related to cosmetic breast enhancement, is just begging for outrage. Whatever the intent, walking into an elementary school with a silicone implant is guaranteed to get parents fired up.

Sure, the kids probably see more silicone on TV before breakfast, but these are American parents we’re talking about. This isn’t France. We like to expose our children to sex, unattainable body image and the objectification of women the good old fashioned way – through mass pop culture media. If some arrogant doctor tries to butt in and teach kids a thing or two about breasts in a medical context, well, that is NOT okay.

Alright, I’ll remove my tongue from my cheek and get back to the operating room. But gosh, I hope none of those kids decide to become a plastic surgeon. That would probably really disappoint their parents. Y’know, having a doctor in the family is way more shameful than something worth striving for…like becoming a reality TV star.

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