• Wacky Wednesday-January 25th, 2012-Weird and Strange Plastic Surgery News

    meth-mugshot

    “Shake and Bake” and Reconstructive Surgery

    Leave it to meth addicts and dealers to find an even MORE dangerous way to produce the world’s ugliest drug.

    The “shake and bake” method involves mixing the volatile crystal meth chemicals inside a 2-liter bottle and simply, y’know, shaking it.  It’s a much cheaper and easier method, but dang, it tends to blow up in people’s faces.  So there’s at least one downside.

    A once beautiful woman named Heather Raybon, 31, was seriously injured and almost died when a “shake and bake” bottle exploded in her face.  As you can see from the pictures above, years of plastic and reconstructive surgery didn’t really slow down her criminal career.  She has been arrested six times since her accident in 2003 on meth related charges.

    Well, nobody can say she’s a quitter.

    She Has a “Dope” Body

    A sexy model was so alluring to airport security officials in Rome, Italy that they pulled her aside for questioning at the customs counter after her flight from Argentina.

    Oops.  In hindsight she should have skipped the tight dress and revealing cleavage and simply donned sweat pants and a baggy shirt like the rest of us, because they totally busted her for smuggling five pounds of cocaine inside her artificial breast and buttocks implants.

    When the model couldn’t adequately explain why she had been in Buenos Aires, she was searched by two female officers who discovered that the inserts had been molded around the cocaine.

    This is why you can’t use models as mules.  Models are great to look at, but once they start to talk, things almost always go badly.

    Really?  She didn’t have a good answer ready for why she was in Argentina?  Wouldn’t you formulate a decent answer during the 14-HOUR flight while sitting on two butt cheeks full of cocaine?  I’d make sure and get that done before settling in to watch the in-flight movie.

    Things That Makes You Say “EW!”

    We’ve had a lot of medical gross out stories in our weekly Wacky Wednesday column.  We know you love ‘em.  So here’s another to finish out this week.

    (What?  You don’t love the gross stories?  Oh, well then, definitely click out now.   Do NOT read the story below about a worm burrowing into this guy’s eyeball).

    See?  You can’t look away can you?

    Anyway, this 25-year-old preacher with extensive mission travel in Central and South America and Central Africa had that annoying feeling that something was stuck in his eye.

    He had his wife look at it, and she saw something kinda “S” shaped.  But noooooo.  That couldn’t be what it looks like, right? Cuz it kinda looks like a worm.

    The next day he went to the emergency room and what happened next was written about in the Annals of Emergency Medicine Journal.  That article says:

    Diagnosis-
    Loaiasis (African eye worm). The picture shows a motile filarial nematode, Loa loa, endemic to Central and West Africa. Transmission is by bite of the chrysops fly. Larvae deposited in the human bloodstream mature into worms, which migrate throughout the subcutaneous tissue and the subconjunctivae (pathognomonic for L loa). Infection with worms of both sexes allows mating and release of microfilariae, which migrate to the pulmonary circulation at night.

    Translation:
    Dude got bit by a fly that laid larvae into his bloodstream.  The larvae turned into worms that mated inside his body and then surfed his circulatory system like a half-pike while he was sleeping, with one worm burrowing its way into his eyeball and just hanging out there for awhile.

    I’m sure you don’t want to see the picture.  Don’t click here.

    Can’t get enough weird plastic surgery news?  Check out the archives.

    Join me again next week as I continue to track the decline of civilized society as told through the strange and varied tales of plastic surgery.

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